Two years ago...

I know the last time I wrote something here, I created some stuff because of a song I heard, but what I'm about to write is true, but does coincide with the song "Lightning Crashes" by Live. Nothing made up here, just the truth...

Today is September 29th and it marks two years since two life changing events that happened. Two years ago today, I was at work and preparing to leave work to head to North Florida Regional Hospital in Gainesville. The first reason I was headed there was to visit my Grandma who was admitted a few days earlier with pneumonia. She had a rough go with it, but she was getting better and getting stronger. The second reason I was going was because two very good friends of mine were expecting the birth of their daughter and she arrived a little after noon that day. Around 2:30 I was getting ready to take off and I got a phone call. It was my Mom. My Grandma had passed away from complications brought on by pneumonia within the last hour. Man, it was rough. I walked out of the store with people asking me if I was alright, what was wrong, all the cliche questions. I just sat in my truck and honestly cried like a baby.

My Grandma was the last living grandparent that I had. I sat there in my truck and all I could think was that I had not gone to visit her near enough. Everything she had done for me rushed into my head and all I could think was that I probably had not done enough to pay her back. The house I live in and the land I live on came from her and my Grandpa. I was more or less living here until she could convince him to move from Tampa, but there was no way he was leaving Tampa. He said he was born there, he was gonna die there, and he did. Shortly after the property and house were signed over to me. My Grandma was always sweet to me, but she had a temper and could get fiery and like most older people, I never really "knew" her until it was too late and she was gone. Her and my Dad were very much alike and it was the reason they didn't get along too well. But anyway, she was great to me and I loved her a lot and I wasn't sure I had shown her just how much.

The little girl that was born that day was named Toni Breanne and I consider her my niece. I don't have kids of my own and I've played a big part in helping raise my nephews. This little girl is something special though. It's funny, but something I didn't know about me until my Grandpa died was how I did not pronounce my name "Bill" the way it sounds when I was little. I pronounced it "Beell" and people thought it was so cute and funny that they would have me say my name over and over. Well, my Grandma always called me "Beell" whenever she was hugging me or telling me she loved me or just about any time other than when I was in trouble. Now, Breanne calls me "Beell" all the time. She talks to me on the phone, tells me she loves me, gives me hugs, kisses, eskimo kisses and is one bossy little girl. Very much reminds me of my Grandma. I go to their house and she grabs me by the hand and tugs me to her room saying "Toys!" and as soon as I get in there, she tells me to "Sit down!". If I don't, she gets a little upset, so I have to go in there and play with her to keep the peace.

I guess what I'm really rambling about is the theory of "One enters the world as one leaves the world". I never found out the exact time of death for my Grandma in comparison to the exact time of birth for Breanne, but I know it was a matter of minutes and no more than an hour and a half. I never made it to the hospital that day to say goodbye and I never made it to the hospital to say hello to Breanne, but since then I've tried to love that little girl and maybe make up as much as I can to the spirit of my Grandma. I really believe there's a little bit of my Grandma in that girl, as if her spirit made a stop in that delivery room and told Breanne a few things to do and to keep me straight before my Grandma made her way up. Not many days go by that I don't see Breanne or at least talk to her on the phone. It seems like every week that passes, the phone calls get a little more in depth. Used to be just "Hi Beell!" or "Luh you!" or "Bye Beell!" but other things are slowly working into the conversations. It's safe to say that that little girl has a 6'2 275 man wrapped around her little finger, just like my Grandma, who was only about 5'0 tall her self, used to have me wrapped up.

So, in honor of my Grandma, I'm letting everyone know how much I loved her and how I'm going to do my best for Breanne, not only for Bree's sake, but for my Grandma as well.